Mother Is Not Cooperating for DNA Testing?
You are a potential father and want to do the right thing and be a part of your possible child’s life or maybe you are the responsible father right now helping to raise the child but you are not on the birth certificate and you have some doubts that you are actually the biological father. Naturally, you want to have a DNA Test performed.
Basic affordable DNA testing now-a-days is all accomplished through mouth/cheek swabs called buccal swabbing and can even be done in the convenience of your own home on your schedule. If you have access to the child and are only looking for your own Peace-of-Mind then this is a simple process. Otherwise, if the mother has sole custody of the child(ren) and she is not communicating with you then this process can be a nightmare. Unfortunately, hair strands from a brush, saliva on a toothbrush, blood on a shirt etc., etc. all those options will not work. Typically the other person of your DNA equation (in this case, the mother) must be willing to either collect the samples of the child(ren) or choose to bring them into the lab in their area to have the technicians pull the samples in order for the testing to proceed.
If you find that she is not willing to do this, keep trying…nicely though. If the nice approach does not work, then you will need to make your case into a legal matter. There are attorneys out there that focus primarily on family civil suits and focus on Dad’s Rights. Yes, this process is annoying and very frustrating and wastes nothing but your time and money but that is exactly why you want to remain nice and attempt to persuade the mother to agree with you to get the DNA testing done cooperatively without having to resort to attorneys.
This is where it becomes difficult especially if she is the one not communicating nor trying to work with you through this matter. Try to remain calm. Losing your temper will only escalate the situation. You should let the mother know that you will pay for all the testing costs and all she needs to do is either swab the child(ren) herself or show up at the lab and bring the child(ren) along with a copy of the birth certificate and/or discharge papers from the hospital. She can even pick a different location to go to and a different time and day so there’s no possibility of a confrontation. If the mother (or her family) is still being uncooperative, then this is where you have to hire a family attorney and pay to have a court order drawn up to “make” her bring the child(ren) in for testing. This takes more time and then of course more money.
And for you mother’s reading this, it doesn’t do any good to be uncooperative. You should not spite your child(ren) just because you have different feelings or know something about the possible father and you do not want the child(ren) to be around him. He may have done some bad things, but as long as he is willing to try to be a good father to his child(ren) then there’s no reason to deny the child(ren) that opportunity to know him – remember, children grow up fast and time isn’t something that can be given back.
If you have any further questions call one of our DNA specialists at 1-888-522-8386 and explain your situation – hopefully we can help.